Two middle-aged men are standing outside, smiling and looking at each other. They are both wearing casual, light-coloured jumpers. Green foliage and sunlight create a warm, relaxed atmosphere in the background.

Getting Started

Watching someone you care for struggling with a mental health condition can be difficult. Talking to them about your concerns can be even harder.

Be empathetic and non judgemental. Be specific about what it is that concerns you, ask for their perspective, and try to understand what they are experiencing. Try not to force the issue as it might make the person reluctant to seek support.

Try to come to a common understanding of what is going on, what the person dislikes about what is going on and what you will do about it together and/or separately.

Having the Conversation:

Setting the scene

  • Find a comfortable and safe place to talk.
  • Explain why you are concerned about them.
  • Speak honestly to them about your concerns.
  • Give the person opportunities to talk openly about how they are feeling.
  • Respect how your loved one interprets and sees their symptoms, even if it may be different to your interpretation.
  • Be empathetic and listen non judgementally to their responses.
  • Validate the persons feelings.

Useful Phrases

Use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I have noticed…. and I feel concerned…’instead of ‘you’ statements, for example:

  • “I love you and want to support you”.
  • “I can see that this is a really hard time for you”.
  • “I know this might be scary to talk about”.
  • “Have you thought about seeing your GP or calling support services?”

Getting Help

If the person feels they do need help managing how they are feeling, discuss and encourage use of professional help such as their general practitioner (GP) or other mental health professionals. You can offer to help make the appointment and go with them to support them if they wish.

The person can ask their GP for a mental health plan to receive either free, or at a subsidised rate, sessions with a psychologist through Medicare.

You can create a Mental Health Safety Plan together for what to do if your loved one becomes unwell using Lifeline’s Beyond Blue app.

Beyond Blue’s safety plan

If the person doesn’t want help

If the person doesn’t want help, be patient. Acknowledge that it might be hard to seek help, and let them know you’re there to help them if and when they need, and you’ll check in again soon.

If you have concerns regarding the persons immediate health and safety, or their mental health deteriorates, seek help from a professional, or ring the Mental Health Access Line on 1800 011 511.

Remember to also seek help and support for yourself, if you need.

Mental Health Access Line

Resources for mental health carers

Two women are sitting outside at a café table, hugging each other warmly. One woman wears a hijab. There are notebooks, pens, and a laptop on the table, and greenery in the background.

What not to do

  • Do not force them to talk or pressure them to get help if they do not want to. Rather, let them know you are there if they wish to talk in the future or when they are ready to seek help.
  • Everyone’s journey and experiences are different. Be mindful and respectful of your loves ones perspective and opinions around their illness.
  • Do not blame or make fun of the person. They might already feel guilty and that they are a burden to others. Instead, provide comfort and reassurance.
  • Do not say statements suggesting that the person ‘snap out of it’, ‘cheer up’, ‘you will be fine’, etc. This makes it sound like the person is overreacting and should be able to talk themselves out of how they’re feeling, when it isn’t possible to talk yourself out of a mental health condition.
  • Avoid stigmatising words e.g., ‘crazy’, ‘schizo’, and other stereotypes. This perpetuates misinformation and stigma in the community towards people living with a mental health condition.
  • You can check out MHCC’s Recovery Oriented Language Guide around the sort of language you should use.

MHCC Recovery Oriented Language Guide

 

Want more information?

Wayahead Mental Health Information Line
1300 794 991
(Mon – Fri, 9.00am – 5.00pm)

Wayahead Mental Health Carer Information Line
1300 850 236
(Mon – Fri, 9.00am – 5.00pm)

More info on Wayahead’s support services

 

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