What not to do

  • Do not force them to talk if they don’t want to. Rather, let them know that you are there if they wish to talk in the future.
  • Everyone’s journey and experiences are different. Be mindful and respectful of your loved one’s perspective and opinions around their illness.
  • If you have legitimate concerns around the persons immediate health and safety contact 000, Lifeline on 13 11 14, or the Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467.
  • Do not blame the person for their mental health condition nor make fun of them.
  • Don’t make statements like “snap out of it”, “you’ll be fine” etc.
  • Avoid putting pressure on the person to talk and/or seek help.
  • Don’t use stigmatising words and language like “you’re crazy” etc.
  • You can check out MHCC’s Recovery Oriented Language Guide around the sort of language you should use

What to do

  • Find a comfortable and safe place to talk with your loved one. A busy café, food court or place with many people around might not be the best place to talk.
  • Give the person opportunities to talk openly how they are feeling.
  • Explain why you are concerned about them.
  • Respect how your loved one interprets and sees their symptoms, even if it may be different to your interpretation.
  • Be empathetic and listen non-judgmentally to their responses.
  • Do some research prior to your discussion.
  • Speak honestly about your concerns
  • If the person feels they do need help managing how they are feeling, discuss and encourage the use of professional help such as a GP or other mental health professionals.
  • They can ask their GP for a mental health plan to receive either free or at a subsidised rate sessions with a psychologist through Medicare.

Useful phrases to use when speaking with your loved one:

  • Using ‘I’ statements such as “I have noticed… and feel concerned”, instead of “you” statements.
  • “I am here for you.”
  • “I can see that this is a really hard time for you.”
  • “Have you thought about your doctor or calling support services?”

Search Mental Health Carers NSW